The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Last night I went out with my best friend. For a change, we went to the Warehouse District. We haven't hung out down there for a long time. We ended up going to several bars in the area and it was pretty much the saem as I remembered it from years ago. Basically, a lot of people trying to look to cool for the room. It seemed to me that there were only two types of guys in the bars. One is the barrel-chested, often shaved-head white guy. These guy have bodies that you just don't regularly see in nature. It's as if West 6th street also houses some secret underground steroid testing facility. And I've had enough of the bald trend.

The other type of guy is the skinnier, half-buttoned shirt guy who is usually wearing some sort of necklace. The necklace is apparently some sort of tribal adornment that seems to communicate the following sentiment: "Ladies, I may look like a dork but this necklace indicates that I'm really a rebellious bad boy. Don't you want to sleep with me?" This look seems to be favored by foreign looking men, though some white boys have adopted and bastardized the look, as they've done with urban fashion.

There were also really only two types of women. Well, actually one main type and then a subtype. The main type is women who do not seem to know their actual dress size and appear to pick outfits only on the basis of having just enough fabric to hold in their boobs until some pre-determined time in the evening when they come spilling out. Now, being a guy, I'm not opposed to a bit of cleavage but there's a point where it's tasteful and attractive and then there's the Warehouse District. In most of the animal kingdom it's the men who have to put on a show to attract women but I've seen dairy farms with fewer udders on display than I saw last night. It might not have been too bad if the women also weren't trying to squeeze size 12 butts into size 4 skirts.

The subset of woman is the one who often actually looks nice. She picks a dress that fits and, interestingly, it seems to me that this subgroup is also thinner. However, there are usually two problems. First, they don't realize that they are basically going to dive bars in downtown Cleveland and not to the prom. Then again, I guess those prom dresses can get pretty expensive so you might as well get some extra use out of them. The second problem is that many of these women simply can't walk in heels. If you're going to wear high heels and a gown you need to have decent posture and be able walk gracefully, not clomp around like a horse bent over like Quasimodo.

all in all it was a fun night. It reminded me of when we used to hang out in the Warehouse District 10-15 years ago, mainly because it hasn't changed. It's still a fun place to people watch. That and the overpriced, watered down drinks make it a true Cleveland destination.