Warning!!! Invasion!!!

Everyone who knows me knows that I'm not given to hyperbole. However, I feel it is my duty to alert America to a frightening reality. Not unlike the old sci-fi movie 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers,' our television journalists in America are slowly being replaced with supermodels. Or at least some form of pod creature that looks like a supermodel (see photo of CNBC business honey Erin Burnett below).


I'm not exactly sure when this happened but it is definitely an insidious trend. Local news anchorwomen have typically been somewhat comely lasses but lately they are increasingly stunning. I then started noticing that even on the "serious" national news shows, on-site reporters began being replaced with women who could model for Victoria's Secret. Now even sports channels, like ESPN and the NFL network, those bastions of testosterone encumbered reporters, have succumbed. More and more of there on-field reporters are freakishly beautiful women.

I'm not sure of the ultimate plan of these obviously alien lifeforms. For now, I just think we need to be vigilant. There is no doubt they are taking over. However, at this point, they simply seem to be replacing formerly unattractive anchor women and puppet-headed men. I think we can peacefully coexist if that is their only aim. But I for one am going to keep a careful eye on these stunning women bringing me my news and entertainment. In fact, I think I may even need to enroll in journalism school. Befriending these women may be dangerous, but I'll do it for my country.