Saturday, December 6, 2008

Random Thoughts

Every once in a while I feel like just posting a collection of random thoughts on various, usually unrelated topics. In fact, my waking brain can best be characterized as random thoughts on unrelated topics. A couple things I've been thinking about lately:

Guys at the gym never change. I started back at the gym about 2 weeks ago. When I started my current job, I let the membership lapse because I couldn't get there in the morning anymore. Now that I live alone again, I joined back up. As I said, I've only been back 2 weeks but I've already encountered several guys who disgust me. These were individuals but they're also archetypes of guys you always see at the gym. One guy was there today. He walks around apparently not able to put his arms at his sides because he's so "huge." Of course, he has a mullet and his stomach sticks out further than his chest but his muscles are apparently too big to let his arms comfortably lie at his sides like most of us. It is also clear that they do not make shirts large enough to cover such muscles because I had many more looks at his nipples than I would prefer.

A second type of guy at the gym is the young guy who's in pretty good shape but still walks around like he's God's gift to the women there. Last week a woman was working out and she had a very nice body and was attractive, at least the most attractive woman there at the time. Mr. Cool Guy walks up to her and says, "I just thought I'd let you know that you have quite a lot of fans here." *urp* Excuse me. That was just a little vomit coming up in my throat. Did he really say that? Yes, he did. Let me re-phrase the statement to communicate what he really meant. "Excuse me. I just thought I'd let you know that I'm a fan of yours. Of course, I'm not going to say that directly because even though my only goal with you is to soap up your perfect breasts in the shower, if I say that you'll be disgusted. So instead, I'm going to act like I'm not the kind of guy who hits on every woman under 45 at the gym and act like I'm just complimenting you by letting you know that all the other men here, except me, are pigs and find you attractive."

And speaking of soaping up, the other thing I will never, ever, ever, understand is why guys, and it's always guys over the age of 55, seem to have to shave naked in the locker room of the gym. First of all, why are you shaving at the gym anyway? Jesus Christ, shave at home. I see no reason for guys to shave at the gym. But, if you insist on doing so, please wear pants. Should I desire to wash my hands in the locker room sink (yuck) I do not want to know that your old junk has been rubbing all over it. And frankly, why do 60+ year old, overweight guys want to spend time naked anyway? I think you'd want to wear clothes as much as possible. All I can say is eewwww.

Taylor Swift, the 18 year old country singing sensation, is a very beautiful woman. She has an absolutely gorgeous face. She's a bit awkward but I think it's because she's so tall and young. She hasn't really grown into her body yet. While I'll look at her any time she's on my TV, I think she's really not a very good singer. I've heard a couple of her songs from her albums and they're not bad but I've heard her sing live on two awards shows and it's not so good. A lot of people sound good when recorded. A good producer can work magic. But you can't fool people live. It's funny to me because when Shania Twain came out, the knock on her was that she was just pretty and couldn't sing but I've heard her live and she has a good voice. Certainly better than Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler, or even Faith Hill, who also sounds terrible live. There's no doubt that appearance has played into the success of all these women but I hate hearing someone sing live when they really can't sing.

Divorce is much harder when you actually like your spouse.

I know this is going to make me sound like a real geek, but last week when I went with my nephews to see the new James Bond movie, we saw a preview for the upcoming Star Trek film. It's about the original characters when they just join Star Fleet. It stars Zachary Quinto as young Spock. He's the best character on the NBC show 'Heroes'. At the risk of being a geek, the movie looks pretty cool and I'm just a little psyched for it.

Since my accident and being forced to buy a new car, I have continued to actually be a little afraid of driving. Driver's seem increasingly distracted these days and, on average, I see a couple of accidents a week. I'm not looking forward to Winter driving season.

2 comments:

Mando Mama said...

This is one of the things I enjoy least about the gym. The story of how you spied an old man with his ditty bag rubbing up against the sink--EW. After that, I couldn't help but notice that every truly old guy who works out where I do wears shorts practically up his tookus. I just look away and tell myself, "Well, someone probably loves him, or did, once."

Not long after I read this, there were two guys who fit this description almost to a tee. One of them had the nerve to sport footwear that resembled combat boots. What the hell? The other literally could not put his arms at his sides.

It wouldn't be fair to ask you not to write about creepy workout guys but it sure seems like you're conjuring them up in my (big thick) neck of the woods.

I have to say there aren't too many fussy women where I work out. Most of them seem pretty serious about their training. I find it kind of inspiring. I am certain that I look rather pathetic myself but I'm not there to win any fans, just build strength and energy. I have made a couple of pals and sometimes it gives me a chance to catch up with friends without our kids around.

DrDon said...

Sorry for conjuring Mando!