Golden Dopes

The best news I've heard lately was when I read today that the Golden Globe Awards were being canceled due to the writer's strike in Hollywood. The striking writers have succeeded in doing what common sense and decency could not. I'd love to see all the award shows canceled. I don't begrudge famous actors for making millions while performing a basically worthless service. If that's what the going rate is, fine. It's supply and demand. LeBron James gets millions because not many people can do what he does. While I don't personally believe that acting takes that level of skill, there are still only a few stars that can pretty much guarantee a solid movie opening. Based on the supply and demand, these actors command a lot of money. It may be silly but it's not the actors' fault and I don't blame them.

What galls me about the award shows is that many of these people, especially A-listers and even B and C-listers, make a pretty damn good living doing what they do. Somewhere, deep inside what is left of their rational minds, they know that the money they make is insane when compared to their relative contribution to society. Still, it isn't enough to just quietly collect the check and leave. No, we have to have awards so the "stars" can pat themselves on the back even more. It's not enough to make millions doing something unimportant, we have to be celebrated for it too! And several times a year!

The president of the Foreign Press Association, who sponsors the Golden Globes, had this to say:

"We are all very disappointed that our traditional awards ceremony will not take place this year and that millions of viewers worldwide will be deprived of seeing many of their favorite stars celebrating 2007's outstanding achievements in motion pictures and television."

Wow. There are a bunch of things wrong with that statement. If anyone in the world feels "deprived" by not getting to watch celebrities grab-assing, he really needs to rethink his priorities. And what exactly are the "outstanding achievements?" Saying that someone has made outstanding achievements in motion picture and television is like me saying that I'm a virtuoso of the grilled cheese sandwich (which I am, by the way). I think it is unlikely that anything is "achieved" in motion picture and television, except perhaps some poignant documentaries. And precious little of what is achieved is "outstanding."

This is exactly the kind of ass-kissing that makes me hate awards shows, celebrities, and everything that goes along with it. The worst is that the industry spawns its own quasi-celebrities like Mary Hart who have simply made a living talking about other celebrities. The whole self-obsessed Hollywood culture is simply nauseating. Good riddance to the Golden Globes, at least for this year. Now if we could get all the other award shows, including those in music, to follow suit, we'd be in great shape.