One of the gifts my wife got me for Christmas is a "Get Fuzzy" desk calendar. She got me one last year as well and she knows that this is my favorite comic strip. As I opened the box, I realized that it contained a whole year in its pages. A year of my life. In 1.5 inches.
It made me realize that I've gone through the one she gave me last year. One page at a time, another year of my life, another 1.5 inches, gone. I can look back and say that I didn't really accomplish anything this past year. I'm not being humble. I really didn't accomplish anything. I continued working at my job, doing it at least passably. I saved some money, did some home improvements, read a lot of books. I've been weathering my separation from Angela and I think we're on the mend. All in all though, I didn't really accomplish anything. I probably won't accomplish anything this coming year either.
There are people who do things in life and there are people who talk about doing things. I've accomplished a few things in my life that I set out to but in general I fall into the latter category. Almost everyone I know does and I don't think that's a coincidence. I think people who actually accomplish the things they talk about hang around with other people who do the same and vice versa. Most people I know have good intentions and they care about the things they talk about doing. Honestly, they're just too scared or too lazy to do them. Again, I fall into both categories though I think maybe more on the lazy side than the scared side. Taking chances isn't easy. It means upsetting the little world you've contructed for yourself to keep safe and comfortable. It means risking failure, embrassment, humilitation, etc. For these reasons I don't really blame anyone for not following through on their dreams. Sometimes it's just easier to live a life getting by and not rocking the boat.
That being said, if I live another 40 years, I've only got 60 inches of calendar left. A stack of paper that's not even as tall as I am. It doesn't seem like much time. Still, as humans are want to do, I'll probably waste a good portion of it. I hope not. I really do have the right intentions. Nonetheless, it will take a significant effort for me to get off my ass, confront the self-pity we all overindulge in, and get something accomplished. All I can say for sure is that at this time next year, another 1.5 inches will be gone...
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6 comments:
Of course you got my attention with the title. "1.5 Inches." I thought we'd be discussing your micro-penis. Ah, but I digress.
I agree with your post. My only issue with this is that - while I am definitely lazy and scared - I have tried to take the approach of not settling and actually being brave to do something new for much of my adult life. And, while I could definitely be trying WAY harder than I am, life eventually beats you down.
Sure, I could keep trying. However, there are only two ways for this to work...
1) You are brave and try. Through hard work, everything comes together. This is the ideal. I see this as rarely happening for the type of change you are talking about. If it does, it's through hooking into some idea that was "just waiting to happen."
2) You are brave and try - and you happen to have people around you that can help you affect the change you are going for. This is far more realistic and what usually ends up happening. We've discussed this numerous times and agree that being born into a different social strata can definitely affect your chances of success for the better; most specifically because it just gets you in that mindset at an early age. It also greatly improves your chances of knowing a few of "the right people."
I also think you have to better define what you mean by "accomplishing" something. For me, that would be writing a book and having it published, having enough money and success to keep doing so, and paying off all of my parent's debt. That's it. If I could do that, I'd have accomplished everything I wish for.
You could do those things right now, but they aren't what you want to accomplish. What sort of accomplishment would make you happy? I always wonder that about you.
Either way, I am definitely a lazy ass that is too much talk and too little action. And now, I'm shutting off this computer to go continue writing! ;-P
"THE END"
Boring - I can't disagree with anything you've said and I agree that your option #2 is the more likely scenario. People want to say that you can just make it in this country with hard work but if that's all it took, a lot more people would be really wealthy (defining success that way). Even many imigrants who come here nad buy restaurant franchises don't do it on their own. They often have children or relatives also working with them, something you and I don't have.
I also agree that being born into different circumstances helps. Kids born into wealthy or highly educated families tend to have a leg up on the rest of us. Having a parent or two who graduated from an ivy league school makes a difference. I mean, Paris Hilton has a clothing line. Does anyone really believe she'd have that if she weren't rich and a "celebutante?"
Still, I can't help but think that intrinsic motivation plays a role. I'd love to puclish a book too. I have not been as diligent about writing as you have but it is something I'd like to do. The writing part, at least, depends on no one but me. So, why do I spend today watching football instead of writing? I'm not sure. I think it's a lot of reasons. It's easy to passively sit and do nothing than it is to be creative, at least for me. No one is going to judge me. If I finish a book, someone could tell me it's crap and it might never get published. It's hard to set yourself up for that rejection.
The other factor that I think comes into play, and is perhaps the curse of the middle class, is that my life, while not exactly the one I want, is not uncomfortable enough to light a fire under my ass. I make enough money to live a decent mid-SES lifestyle. I'm married so I don't have the pressure of trying to impress new women. When I took the chance to start a company several years ago, it was because I had nothing else going on in my life. I didn't have a girlfriend, wasn't making much money, had no martgage. I had to do something and if I was ever going to take a risk, that was the time to do it.
But you're right. Accomplishments need to be defined to make this post viable. I suppose I'm writing it from my perspective, meaning that by my definition I haven't accomplished much. Some would say that simply having a house or having a decent job is an accomplishment but. to me, those things are just expected. That's what you're supposed to do in life. I'm more impressed with someone like JK Rowling who was in pretty poor straights but published an unbelieveable series of books and completely changed her life than I am with someone who just has a regular job and a house.
I don't know. I guess I'll explore this more in the blog. I always like getting people's feedback and I'd love to get together with a bunch of people I know and discuss these issues but this forum is about the best I have.
Geez, I need to proofread my own comments better. Nice typos!
Everyone has this thought at one point in their life, don't you think? I know I have suffered through some pretty grandious ideas and have felt like I have betrayed myself when I realize am unlikely to leave some huge mark on the world after I am gone. And then I tell myself that it's enough to just be a good and decent human being...you and Boring have both accomplished that.
KC - You're right. Given that 99% of us live and die in obscurity, I think most people come to the same conclusion you have. Still, what makes that 1% different? And what if you want to be in that 1% but just don't know how? I think there are people who can accept not leaving any kind of mark on the world but for others of us it will always be a regret. Frankly, I think this is why a lot of people have kids. It's almost sort of giving in and acknowledging that your own life might not make a difference but you'll have left something of yourself behind in your children.
We all have the capacity to make a contribution of some kind. Whether it's remarkable or not is a criteria we allow others to invoke, which is just how we're built. We're always "setting ourselves up for failure" because we've been programmed to think more highly of what others think of us than how we think of ourselves.
The thing about rejection is, some of it is about you, but, never all of it. At best, it's half you, in any situation. And that's it. Half. Eventually something you do or say or write resonates with some other half that gives you or your ideas or your work a thumbs up.
We measure ourselves too harshly and that is what keeps us from even trying. We look at the 1.5 inches of what we didn't do, but we don't figure out what has trained us to live by our feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection rather than feelings of hope and daring, or, of foolish entrepreneurism and creative living.
At 1.5 inches, life really is short. I'd rather suffer the humiliation and say I gave it a whirl.
MM
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