Tickle Me Mao

I've been on vacation this week. Some parts of it have felt like a vacation. While I normally hate just about anything trendy, I've decided to start reading these damn Harry Potter books. I'll probably finish the second one tonight and I'm about a third of the way through God is Not Great. On that one, I must admit it is a bit of a slog. Again, I love seeing these guys and hearing them talk but the book is just not very interesting.

The parts that haven't felt like a vacation include getting work done on my car (never a pleasant event, even for routine maintenance), continuing the never-ending yard work, and replacing the toilet in my full bath with the one from the half-bath I'm rennovating. I'm trying to get the big, time-consuming stuff out of the way while I'm off. Of course, everything was going well until the flange bolt that holds the toilet to the floor broke. That necessitated a call to the plumbers. Ugh. Of course, I now have to have them back because my main water shutoff valve is leaking in my basement. Being about 50 years old, it needs replacing. So, though I didn't go anywhere on this vacation, I am managing to spend lots of money as if I did. And I'm still managing occasionally to watch the news.

So now we have to recall about a million toys made in China because of lead in the paint? I think I'm now understanding how China has ascended to that status of an economic superpower. I always thought that it was simply their keen ability to make their citizens actually seem grateful for being slaves. Keeping three-quarters of your population in abject poverty while raking in billions in exports is a pretty good racket. Little did I know that this was only half the plan. In addition to slave wages, these Chinese companies have also perfected the art of making incredibly cheap products by using such beneficial ingredients as lead and antifreeze. Nothing wrong with lead and antifreeze. Both have been very helpful to mankind. It's just that most of civilization, China excluded, knows that these substances are best utilized by humans in a non-oral fashion.

I'm starting to think that this is simply part of the Chinese plot for world domination. First, try to kill our pets with tainted wheat glutin. That'll get us all depressed and worn out so we'll stop being so vigilant. Then put antifreeze in our toothpaste to further incapacitate us. Step three of the master plan? Retard our next generation by putting lead in the paint of products that infants and children can't resist chewing on.

Look, I'm not railing against China. Every nation wants their shot at the top. We in the U.S. have been there for much of the 20th century and beyond and I'm not sure everyone would agree that we've done a great job. I'm simply saying you don't have to work this hard. The U.S. is doing a good enough job on its own destroying our civilization. This is a nation of people who have already decided on their favorite presidential candidates, all from a pool of contestants who thus far have said NOTHING about how they really plan to address any of the major issues facing this nation. Strangely silent are these baby boomer candidates on the havoc that is going to be caused by the aging of the baby boom generation and the entitlements that they will expect to receive. Health care is a disaster. Our good-will oversees is at an all-time low. We're still locked in a failing war. We have no formal energy policy. Millions of citizens are losing their homes to foreclosure due to deceitful lenders that are not being held responsible. And yet, most of us are more concerned about whether Lindsay Lohan will be going to jail.

So, have patience China. We're already staggering at the top of the mountain. Just wait for us to fall. And good luck at the top. I think it's more fun getting there than being there.