Well, Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again after getting busted for driving drunk and apparently having cocaine in her pocket. This after just getting out of rehab. No one is shocked by this and if they are, they must never watch TV or use the internet. Lindsay, while cute and a passable actress, has been in trouble for so long that it seems that she must be about 40 now even though she's only 21. Currently, she's far more famous for her offscreen behavior than for anything she's ever done as an entertainer.
At this point, I think something drastic needs to happen in order for Lindsay to straighten out. That's why I'm offering up my services as a licensed clinical psychologist to help her. Lindsay can come and stay at my house for, oh, let's say 8 months. During this time, I'll make sure to keep her out of trouble by being her constant companion. First of all, she'd be living in Cleveland which would immediately decrease her opportunities for having fun. In addition, I'd be willing to sacrifice my own privacy by sleeping in the same bed as Lindsay to make sure she's not tempted to drink or use blow during the all-important evening hours. I'd even remove the sliding doors from my tub enclosure so that I could carefully monitor her showering activity, lest she use that as an opportunity to imbibe.
Yes, this is what I think Lindsay needs. 'Round the clock monitoring by me. I'd have her do dishes, sweep the floor, do laundry, and maybe even cut the grass. All in only a bra and panties, of course, so that I could make sure she's not hiding any "junk." I think it would be good for her to have to engage in these chores that less privileged people have to deal with every day. I'm certain that, being a pampered star, she'd initially resist the daily cavity searches but this is how far I'm willing to go to make sure that she gets better. I'm confident that after a few months of one on one therapy with Dr. Don, Lindsay would be a new woman. I'm certain I'd be a new man.
So Lindsay, if you're reading this, or if any of your handlers are reading this, I'm here for you Baby. The short flight to Cleveland could be the first day of the rest of your life and, if you buy into my program completely, the best day of mine.
4 comments:
You know I don't find Lindsay Lohan attractive. However, this picture of her is hot.
She looks like such "trouble." I like that.
Mmmm... Be bad, Lindsay. Be very bad.
Mu-hah-hah!
That's what makes her great. You wouldn't want to marry her or bring her home to mom but you know it would be a lost weekend with her.
LOL, after all the ranting you boys did about what's wrong with women who go after bad boys, I find this High-larious.
Lindsey, you sad bag of bones, don't bother with those guys. Come to my house for a week. After doing my job and then cleaning up after my kids...you'll never have time to drink.
Your fan,
MM
Mando - Yeah, yeah. You're right. But men have never made any bones about liking bad girls. Women, on the other hand, act like they want a nice guy but their behavior says otherwise.
That being said, normally I find bad girls to be too much work. I'm certain Lindsay would be exasperating. But the post was fun anyway.
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